To see the sky

"Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as
deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.”

Peace and turbulence.

I would look back on this night and wonder if it was a pivotal point of change. The hands to follow would take on more serious notes. So much so that it would lead me to ask if it was this night .. this moment that changed it all or of it was the meeting ground of an empath and a dreamer sensing the shift of the world around them.

He stood away from wagons, far enough for the breeze to reach him, gazing at the bosk, the plains, the stars until at last he turned to the stream as if it beckoned him to it. The moons reflected off the water leaving the mirror image of the clouds bright and misted on the surface. The view mottled only by the shadow of the watcher that bent to crouch over the embankment.There was temptaion to stand back, an eavesdropper on a scene in a waterglobe but I stepped forward letting my presence be known without words.

Was it a breath, a whisper, or the breeze itself that spoke?

Do you seek something from me?

Was it too soon to have come forward in this new time of absorbing the world around me? There would be much that I sought over time but not this night. It was only answer to a summons, a feel like the tone of the voice that met me.

Within his invitation he offered reasurance once again of my safety though he conveyed that it was not peace that filled his thoughts that night. I was willing to listen to all he had to share. It was a soothe to me from the myriad of voices of the first fires. My fingers found a small pebble that I placed in his palm before I sent another similar one over the edge into the gentle moving water. One for one, over and over again. There was comfort even in the scream of silence between us. Ripples coursing outward to meet the current.

We spoke of differences, frustrations, and the points of our beliefs that held balance. For a short time I saw the man I had revered and looked up to on a level of equal. A stark contast that deep beneath the peaceful interlude was a feeling of something energizingly disturbing.

We had both been asked of our interests in the elements, and now compared what we had been told, even finding a twisted sort of humor in our discomfort of the revelations. Fire, we both were drawn to though it was the wind that I sought and the water for him. Three of four. More amusing than predictive. It was the grounding perhaps that we each lacked, a solid foundation of the earth beneath our boots. I could wax philosophical all day and never grow weary of it but there had been reasoning behind the line of query I was to find out. A purpose. I could not help the inner feeling of having been judged and found insufficient, possibly both of us. I, however, dont think I take that as personal as he does.

I turned at last to what had been on my mind since the earlier part of the day ... What had angered him so? That was when he shared insight of the stretch of the wagons rather than pulling them into the circle we knew and were accustomed to, to protect them. Vulnerable. He said he tended to think for himself ... but that was not an acceptable position. It would be hands later before I understood the faced the debate between the heart of the law versus the will of the whole. I noticed his pebbles had begun to pile in his hand and mine disturbed the sheen of the moons on the water. Again, an amusement at the time but it would be a visual that haunted me later.

Water controls fire. Water puts fire out. Wood controls earth. Tree roots hold clods of earth. Fire controls metal. Fire can melt metal. Earth controls water. A pond holds water. Metal controls wood. An ax cuts wood.

We spoke of the things that were important, the same things that my Father had believed in … they were not completely that alike but not varied by very much. To me that had significance to see things differently in the same way. It provoked a conversation of the sky and how we saw it. If we all saw the same sky the same way ... always ... then the plains would be a very droll place to live. We would all be the same, think the same, feel the same. It is those differences that add spice and flavor. I did tell him I was not sure I wanted him to see my sky or to always see his. For that vision to be the same now and then is good, it brings people closer perhaps but the sky is not always blue nor is it always stormy. I think it is the same with people.

Regeneration
Water generates wood. Rain nourishes a tree. Wood generates fire. Burning wood generates fire. Fire generates earth. Ash is created from the fire. Earth generates metal. Metal is mined from the earth. Metal generates water. Water condenses on metal.

Be careful.

Of what or of who was my question? Of him this moment, of many things when the dawn broke. I felt compelled to show him a view of my sky, that tomorrow would be a good day to be Tuchuk, to live well and proud. Holding to such ideals I felt was safety enough. I know that I am young and have much living yet to do but my beliefs are strong and still unwavering.

I closed his hand over the small pebbles I’d given him. Insignificant on their own but their purpose would reveal itself in time. Each gift I’d given would play a part in the lives they touched. How the one that held them made use was a choice they would have to make.

Had it been his restless spirit that made me long to ride and feel the wind tug away the tensions or was it my own? I told him that if Father were here I would ask if I could ride and confided that he used to let me. With the outstretch of the wagons I knew it wasn’t the best opportunity but I was promised that when we reached safer ground, I would be allowed.

We had shared a few moments peace however fleeting. We looked at the sky together and regardless of what the other saw, it would still be there watching over us. When I left to return to my wagons, I could not help the trace of my tongue over the sharp point of an eyetooth. For me, the feel of the night held a peace and underneath its surface there was a strong turbulence.