Unwanted

Enosh would stand watch over the children, I had made sure of this before I started. Only then would I make the coffle my complete focus. Along the line I walked then circled behind them. Feeling each one, reading each one .. not their thoughts but what I heard inside, I slowed behind one. She was an ordinary beauty with deeply slanted eyes, skin of a mocha hue different than our own ... one that immediately shifted her head down just with the feel of my presence there.

Not me, I am flawed. I am tainted. I am broken ... unwanted.

It wasn't because she had no wish to be chosen but the very fact that everything inside of her cried out to be and her own belief that she would be passed by was why I singled her out. My fingers touched along the side of her face and drew her head back to expose her throat in a long silky column, her chest as a banner of who and what she was to me at the moment ... nothing.

It was then I cracked open the delicate shell of her mind and delved head long into the sweet gray delicacies within. I became lost inside of her, inside of her insecurities, thrashed my way through the delicious doubts and unimaginable horrors of loneliness that she clung to. I could hear her gasp. I felt her tense. I felt her hands rise trying to claw me away and I refused to let go. I coated myself with all of the pangs of self destructiveness she had to offer. I opened my eyes, reaching up to wipe my hand across my mouth. I was not ready to relinquish her just yet. I could still felt her on my hands and curled them closed to make it last a little longer.

There was nothing left of her.

She was gone.

I felt as if Orahjinn eyed me, that that bird of his eyed me. I felt like the whole clan was standing there ... eyeing me. I wouldn't look up. I refused to.

So they would not see, so they would not know.

It would be days before I dared to venture out in the open again.

So no one would see, so no one would know that I smiled and whispered ... Do you feel wanted now?