Family of Sorrow

Naked we come from our Mother's womb, and naked will we depart. The Sky gives and the Sky has taken away. Bless the Sky for her Mercies.

We rejoiced for the return of a favored daughter and we grieved for the loss of the favored son. While most hurried to welcome the Ubara home from her journey to other realms, I turned my direction to find another part of this family.

Birmmah stood shaking her head ... denial. It could not be, not her beloved, not her first son ... no not Ba'atar. Weathered fists beat against the arm, shoulder and chest of Aamon when he tried to assist her to her wagon. She pulled against him with wailing shrieks that she had to go and find her son ... her son ... didn't he love him enough to go and bring him home? Did she have to do this herself?

Before she could make it half dozen steps her knees buckled beneath her with only the strong embrace of her mate to hold her up. No matter how rigid the patina I was trying to provide against my own emotions, I could not bear to watch such a vital woman crumble this way. Aamon saw her into her wagon and motioned for me. His own will was cracking. He had no idea what to do, how to comfort her and he seemed to be as much catalyst for her rage as the news had been. He was helpless in a time he felt he was needed most.

I sat quietly inside the wagon while Birmmah released her grief against the ball of her fists, until there were no more tears, until even the dry sobs hiccuped with pain. Then there was silence as she stared across the wooden floor to a place inside no one could reach, no one could touch her. For a brief ihn I was afraid she would drown in her anguish, afraid she would perhaps go where Cana had just returned.

Then she spoke.

A whisper from inside the soul.

She spoke of a place that she and Aamon used to go, their escape from the Tribe to be together. I wondered what this had to do with the death of Ba'atar and then it dawned on me and I had to smile a little.

I knew the place, not the exact location she mentioned but I knew where she spoke of. I needed to visit it for reasons of clan, for personal reasons too and had wanted Ayguili to there with me. I wanted to show him the plains from a view like no other. He would be able to see for himself the many things riders would return from scouting to tell him. He would see all this for himself. Somehow it felt like I should tell her along with a quieter confession that he was a busy man as Tribe leader .. I did not think he would have time to go.

It was the first time she drew herself up to find me .. to level me under her gaze. It narrowed there then her chin found that haughty lift to it so fitting a Tuchuk woman. So many emotions welled inside her that I was almost drunk with them and then they went dead calm.

"Go anyway. Go and take something there with you ... for me. Will you go there ... for me? "

I had enough arguments against that to make a valid case for why I couldn't but I found myself nodding gently and consoling her with quietly spoken words.

"Of course."

I leaned over to kiss her temple sealing my vow to her and felt the long winded exhale of sigh rattle its way through her lungs and past her lips. She seemed so frail in that moment. The line of her mouth bowing inward as she touched the fuller part behind her teeth clinching it there to silence too much that wanted release. Her eyes red and wet from the tears that still made attempt to fall. Her hair delicately shaded the hue of a winter's frost disheveled and unkempt from her sorrow. I reached up to brush the stray wisps into place so she would have that regal bearing once more of a strong proud plains woman.