Something Important II

'Cuz what I really want to say
Is what the sun would say to the sky
For giving it a place to come alive
But my words get in the way
Of what I really want to say

Then everything changed.

It is said I have the Ubar's ear but truth be known it is the other way around. Much our time together is of my listening, more so listening to what was on the Ubar's mind and that entailed privacies I did not really wish to know about family and friends. I had tried to remain outside this when the issues of Karvek, Fonce and Seveya had first arisen. What little I had allowed then left vast margins for misunderstanding later.

My own opinion in all that was not well taken. Regardless, I stood by Ayguili's decisions whether I agreed or not. Perhaps sharing more of what burdened the man I loved could bring some appeasement to his tired mind. I was willing to give it a try.

He began with asking if I had noticed a change in Silken since Ash claimed her. I don't know the woman very well so all that I could convey was an instance over a bottle of wine I had placed in a gift basket for the two. I will know better next time.

I gathered that they were not the true topic he had wanted to talk about. Proof came as the conversation shifted to Seveya. She did not understand why Ash and Silk had been given permission to mate. Why would she not understand? I had been there when Ash had brought the healer with him to face Ayguili. I had seen with my own eyes and heard their words .. their pledge of life to each other. Relating this to my warrior while all curled against his chest I could feel him sigh with frustration then tense as I reminded him that outside his word, the laws of the Tribe still said.that mating was not about love. A guardian or family elder can accept a brideprice and it is final. Changing that is by the Ubar's word but I did feel that it should be made where all know of it. He growled at me that he knew what the laws say and asked if I thought he was wrong in not setting a payment for Fonce to meet.

I didn't know what had been said between each of them .. He and Fonce and Seveya. I trusted Ayguili's judgement but I did mention my own opinion since I had been asked .. if Fonce loved her and she loved him and he was willing to meet the terms of trade for her then perhaps they should be together. That is where the problem seemed to be .. He said he had asked Fonce if he loved her and Fonce had said no. Seveya moved my guardian, she stirred him, but no in truth he did not love her.

That collided on every synapses with seeing the Head of my clan one night when he was singing with this sappy look on his face and grinning from ear to ear. Something definitely did not make any sense. Fonce himself had been on his way that night to speak to Ayguili about asking for the artisan .. happy deliciously, deliriously happy. The brideprice had been set. Something that most would find more than reasonable and definitely fitting. He figured that if the man did love her, he would come to him again. It sounds very cold of me that I believed Fonce would either find Seveya's worth enough to pay it or he would not.

That was when my warrior said something that lifted my head from his shoulder. He didn't think Fonce had ever had any love in his life. It was not a statement I could allow to stand on its own merit. I disagreed. Fonce has been loved. He has known the love of a brother in my Father .. that of a good friend, the esprit de corp that two men can stand side by side in battle and know trust. He has known the love of Dubois, the compassioned embrace of a woman to take in a boy and see all the material needs met of doing so. There is Grandmother and Mother and Cana and Tzuri and me. He has been loved. He just may not see it sometimes and other times he does not know what to do with it. Is that any different for everyone at some point in their lives? To me it was Fonce that felt stranger to being able to show it. He could and he had, I knew this but it was in his own way. I had to say that perhaps he did love her. That was what I had thought I saw written all over him the night between the wagons. Hearing the sound of a warrior's heart fill the wind with song for what made him happy. Yes, a Happy Fonce! It had been wonderful to witness. Fonce had even told me that he had a bride price for me and he was on his way to see Ayguili.

There had been no answer for me that night after I offered my own thoughts. There was simply silence as the Ubar left without a word.

Was there a crisis among the tribe that called him so suddenly?

Had I said something wrong?

Was there something important I missed?