Charm

Charm is the quality in others that makes us more satisfied with ourselves
Henri Frédéric Amiel

My fingers wove through the threads fluttering like the wings of a butterfly from years of practice. I molded them from what they once were into what they will be. Charms. Simple in their creation, void of seeds or bits of bone or metal to tame the strength they held. Sabra had come to me wanting to entice good things around her and the warrior that had spoken for her. That was all these were meant to do, to fly and sway in the winds, to stir the energies out of their complacency.

They seemed to be working because in a cloud of dust and wind, Cana rode up from the pens radiating with the brilliance of a smile. When she is like that ... brimming over with life, I wonder to myself if she is one of the good Orisha escaped. We settled into casual conversation between women. I'd noticed how her work with her clan simmered in her eyes and wore itself on the flush of her cheeks the way men do their scars. There was surprise and at the same no surprise whatsoever that she had originally been sent to the healers clan to learn. See, it actually felt very natural to see her as one.

Family became a big part of our discussion, that and Fonce. She listened as I told her how as guardian. Father figure, provider he had stepped in for Mother, Grandmother, Pei and Pacu. Even Tao in his own way.

and you?

Perhaps that is still to raw, too tender that I made a choice. I told her he was a good mentor, patient, thorough with a vast amount of insight, knowledge and experience to offer. He had an understanding and we discussed how lucky I was to have him. Yes, in that I will agree. The man, himself, was a deeper subject I did not delve that night.

How old was she when she first mated? Not like me at all to be so personal, to get so personal but it was there and she scooped it all up tenderly. She gave it a place to be. She told me but had this funny sort of grin when she said perhaps I should have asked how old she was when she fell in love. I was getting to that but didn't think that just coming out but didn't think it was a very good lead i to just up and say .. oh by the way how old were you when you first fell in love? Her answer didn't really surprise me as much as it kind of sunk my shoulders. She was twelve and here I am more than sixteen turnings and don't even know what it is yet. She was quick to pluck gingerly at the festering beneath all that, releasing it slow and skillfully. I ended up telling her that a warrior had asked my guardian for permission to speak to me, to get to know me a little better. She let me tell her in my own way and my own time of my growing admiration for his intellect and how easy it seemed that he and I could just ... talk. I was struck by how she seemed to pick up which warrior without my ever mentioning his name. Yes, she agreed he was a good man. They had not had the smooth introduction I'd been blessed with but time had shown them the better of each other.

Another woman joined us, the mate of an iron worker. She put her son down letting him proudly display his new found freedoms. There was such determination in those awkward toddling steps, you just knew he was a Tuchuk warrior. Those feet had places to go, those hands reaching out to grasp hold of the world around him. Cana swept him up and settled him in my lap like I would know what to do with him. So far I was 1 and 0 with children. Didn't she know the odds on this was not a favorable wager?

Aponi said he had his father's charm. I didn't really hear much of the rest of their conversation. Something about the heartaches that came with love or something or another. I just looked into the depths of those big round orbs looking up at me with expectation .. and the world sort of connected itself. While he pulled my braid, his boot dug a trench on my shin and he covered me in ooey gooey magical candy mush, life began to make sense.

I caught his hands a little more expertly this time speaking low and gently of the strength and power they would one day be able to wield. That one day they could mold or crush all that they held but I reminded him too that not all things were meant to bend. He took in my words, his eyes .. like those of an old soul soaking them up like there was a new found freedom in them. That was when he reached up with those chubby little fingers and grabbed my hair at both sides of my temples. Of course there was that stinging pinch of new growth you have little capability to fight and end up giving into to follow. Talk about ouch!. He blessed me that night. He blessed me with a kiss of parted lip openness ... of innocence. He shared the sweetness of a warrior's heart before it has been broken or known pain .. that and all the slobbery ooze of his candy treat.

I think I began to fall in love that night. Not with a man or the idea of having children .. a family but simply with being a woman. They helped me see that for all of its virtues and vices, it certainly had its charm.