Respect

I need something that shows the past, present and future of ones life. I need it to be soft, yet strong, have all the use in the world, and yet, it seems to be only for the one who looks upon it. I need every part of life found within it. From the Grass, to the Bosk, to the Rain, to the Sky. Its size must be able to be carried in one hand, but its weight of meaning to be held by the shoulders of all Tribe.

Ba'atar of the Tuchuk

I hadn’t given much thought to what it takes to be a great leader until the night I spoke to Ba’atar about having completed his request. There was so much enthusiasm, nervousness and I suppose hope that I held in my hands as I tentatively let him know that it was ready when he had time.

That was as far as it went. The remainder of the eve took on a tangent because I had now twice used the title Ubar in addressing him. Who would have thought there could be such a clash of will over terms of honor and respect? It provoked thought on my part long after the fires grew quiet and I began my stroll back to Grandmother’s circle of wagons. Two people disagreed strongly though still seemed to have the same set of beliefs.

To be empathetic you must be willing to step into another persons boots and walk the path they walk, feel the weight they feel and experience both the good and the bad. At least enough to gain a little insight and understanding. To do this of a Ubar wasn’t going to be an instant enlightenment. It was going to take several hands of introspection, questions, and fact finding.

First, I set out to ask what it took to be a great leader. There were many varied opinions from rants to raves before I began to piece out the most important. It seemed that almost everyone agreed upon trust and respect. Well now there was what got this wagon wheel rolling wasn’t it? But I was willing to listen to the thoughts of several trusted elders as they began to create an image in my mind of the foundations for a leader.

If you lead you don't need to be liked on a personal level, although most good leaders are.
You simply need to have the characteristics that make you trusted and respected in the leadership role that have assumed.

They said there is a key difference between generating respect and trust and being liked personally. People don't have to like you to trust and respect you. Many people who know nothing about leadership try to hard to be liked on a personal level and this leads to ineffective leadership as their goal of being liked interferes and weakens their role as leader.

The next most important characteristic was communication. Leading on from what they had already told me, you need to be able to communicate with your Tribe … clan … command, treat them with respect, encouragement, and be firm when needed. I did so try to tuck away my personal feelings here and not interject any wide eyed arrogance in there. You do not know how hard it was to just sit and hear ... really hear all I was told, to absorb it without any selfish taint.

A good leader tries to get the best out of their team by being understanding them, inspiring them and rewarding effort. A good leader never rules by fear. That canted my head while I tucked the morsel away and hurried in my thoughts to catch up with what another had to say. Yes, a good leader needs to be firm and stop anyone from upsetting the group from reaching its ultimate goal and take swift decisive action when it does. Tribe above all. I just had to smile at that point.

Trouble was that smile had to be held tight not to degrade into a fit of giggles when they said that enthusiasm was almost as high on the list as thetrust, respect and communication. Enthusiastic? Bosephus? Fonce? Ba’atar? Oh well now, I wasn’t sure that was the best description of any of them. I was very young when the Bosephus held the grays but I do remember Fonce and had a healthy taste of Ba’atar. As the elders continued, I began to see the meaning of their words. Good leaders always have the character trait of enthusiasm about getting the job done. People will respect a person who shows hard work, passion and dedication. No one could stand and say any one of the Ubar’s we have had are not hard working, dedicated and there a lot of different takes on that last one.

Leaders are there to motivate and inspire. Not to babysit and coddle threw in one of the oldest of the warriors with a huff and a gruff .People will respond to these character traits, one added in the conversation. It was a quieter voice from further back in the circle of the fires that gave a new take on that thought. Although the roles of a leader may be different, the leader is the leader of the Tribe, clan or command and the group will only get behind someone they see as “one of them" and able to muck in with the them. That had all heads nodding in full agreement.

It takes confidence. Courage? No, confidence. If you are not confident you wont get anywhere as a leader. Rock solid confidence in your ability is a must to inspire dedication, trust and hard work from your command. Confidence should not be confused with arrogance. Arrogance shows a non tribe member and will cause resentment. We are all arrogant ... we are Tuchuk, was the argument to that. Not that kind of arrogance, the selfish kind that does not stand behind Tribe above all.

Oh.

Most great leaders have a combination of confidence and humility. Humility just did not seem to fit any of the men in my life past or present. That I was going to have to take the word of the elders on until I could see first hand an example of that.

When things are going wrong you look for a leader to take control of the situation. They need to show confidence, but do so in a cool, calm collected manner with the aim to putting things right or getting the job done. No matter what the situation a good leader never loses his cool and this is critical to maintaining team confidence when the chips are down. Whew, tack that one in with humility. When you look at Pacu and Tao and if you knew my Father …

Focus Mezoo, pay attention if you want to hear this or go play with your dolls. Oh no, he did not just say that to me! But, I do think he was right. Not the play with dolls part ..I am still mad about that one. I meant the keeping your cool. I remember times when I really thought fur was going to fly over something very important and standing there seeing this decided calm rationale that cut through to the quick. Funny that we do not always see what we see until we look back and see much clearer.

A good leader thinks analytically and can view the overall goal or aim, but also break down the sub elements of what needs to be done to reach the goal. Organization, prioritization and working out the smaller parts into a logical pattern to reach the ultimate goal in the best possible manner.

There was a shift not only in my posture now but the beginning of a shift in my way of thinking. Had my values begun to change? No. They were expanding to take in all I was hearing and make it part of them. A new part that was better, stronger.

A good leader is always looking to improve and to innovate to get better results. Even when things are going well a true leader is looking to take himself and his command to the next level.

Based on everything that had been said before one of the other elders laid this last bit of insight out to be pondered. A good leader will know they are not perfect, no one is, and they will be constantly trying to improve their skills and look at their past results no matter how good they were and see how they could have done better.

I had felt the answer to his request his riddle was ... a decision. There would be much happen in the next few hands that would bring question of my answer.

Did I understand all of this that night or even look at things from the position of a leader, an Oralu, a commander … the Ubar to empathize with the man and all that rested on his shoulders?

No.

That night I had just wanted to say I respected the position and wanted and needed someone to look up to ... someone I could call my Ubar.