Tell me ... Speak III

I was trying to sort through my head anything I might have done or even might have been thinking of having done that Fonce would ask me to step away from the fires to talk about. Imean, I hadn't hit Oggie that hard really, maybe just enough to leave a bruise.

Then things got all serious in the most seriously serious ways it could. Tao had gone to get paga for him and Oggie and Fonce too. I think and I was thinking I could use some myself being all up close, personal and under the scrutiny of my guardian slash mentor slash self proclaimed father figure, one that has never had kids by the way. When he leaned in close so that only I could hear what he had to say I wondered if I needed to reach for my dagger again.

He asked me very directly what I thought of a particular warrior. Now that was not what I expected him to ask and it was certainly not going to be a quick definitive answer and it took a good going over in my head rather than just shrug. I'd only spoken ith him once or twice. I could say honestly that he had varied ideas, which to me wasn't a bad thing. Some of them were interesting, some I didn't necessarily agree with. I had to admit there seemed to be more to him than he allowed others to see, then I lowered my voice with just how important the next tidbit truly was. He didn't dream.

"That he remembers." That offering came awfully quick from the Haruspex, fast enough to make me wonder why. "Many dream that do not believe they do." There was that masculine sound that had impatience and was taking control to bring back the subject at hand from a tangent. "But you are not against ...'" the pause there brief but held long enough for a lot of things to fall through the opening then resumed with the next breath, "speaking to him"?

Oh no I was still stuck on all that important stuff right in the middle but I continued the same wagon train of thought."I do not think he allows himself to remember." In the end I caught up with Fonce in the conversation and squared my shoulders back. I was clear enough not to be understood in any way when I said that it would be understood that my studies would come first and there would be someone near.

I know the grin was just beneath the surface somewhere but he was smart enough man not to let it show right then. There had been nothing spoken further than just speaking. I let out a long exhale. I was so not ready for anything else he might have said right then except that. I guess he picked up on it ... more as being a male than a Haruspex, he didn't have that inner eye tuned in and that was a good thing that night. I would not have wanted to delve into the deeper recesses of what was inside at that moment.

"What is wrong?" Ever have that urge to grab a guy by the tunic collar and get all up in his face and repeat what they just said in a bottom of the lung scream? WHAT IS WRONG??? It was only fair to give him opportunity to give his thoughts on the matter. Afterall he was a friend, a mentor, a guardian and his opinion mattered. A lot more than it should probably. Did he have any reservations about all this? I think the air held a resonance there that sounded like if anyone here that has any objection, speak now or forever hold your peace.

I so do not like a question as an answer for a question so when he looked at me and asked "Me?, I just wanted to throttle him. I did however squelch the notion ... barely. He said not for what had been spoken of which was simply speaking, an interest in knowing more. I glanced back toward the fires just to make sure no one else could hear me when I leaned in and whispered. I didn't know what to say to him, or even if I liked him. I mean I liked him but you know .. liked liked him, like that, like you know what I'm saying? Fonce seemed to think the chuckle and generic answer he gave made any of that feel better. "Of course not, and I am sure he is in the same place." All I could say was a crisp decisive intelligent sounding .. "oh".

I was really fighting the extreme urge to begin crying and run back to Mother's wagon where it was safe and the world was still familiar and comfortable. I didn't even sound like me when I asked Fonce if we could speak of all this more, later and away from the Ubar's fires. I sounded like I was all grown up and knew what I was saying. I added, I had no reason not to speak to the warrior. He said he had just needed to know .. something. Well, did he find what he needed to know? I didn't bother to ask. Instead I told him it was not who I had thought would speak up. Who? I asked him to give me time to clear my head of the fires and we would speak more, could he do that? He just nodded. I asked if there was anything else he needed of me but he just replied I could return to the others.

I didn't. I walked the other direction when he returned where they were but I could hear Tao's voice all filled with exuberance behind me at the fires. "I brought the paga!"