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Monday, April 20, 2009

Strong but a little flexible

There are the verr and the wool, studies among the clan, responsibilities to family and a circle of personal wagons that go with the everyday journey to the first fires. I have no complaint in any of this, it is just that I live a very real and busy life. Sometimes I am called away from what I may prefer to be doing to see to something else. It was this way with the women that day.

By the time I returned, Yamak was just leaving. No doubt to tend to the very real things in her life as well. There are moments I forget to see beyond my own wishes and almost take it personal when people leave just as I arrive. It is perhaps because there are many that seem to do that ... just walk away. Often we do not take time to see a bigger picture.

There was confession to Tarra that I regretted not having had more time to talk to the leather worker. She was reassuring when she said she thought there would be lots of opportunities. I hoped so, honestly. There were many among the first wagons that were becoming my friends and many I had real hope could be.

Ayguili joined us at the fires and handed me a small metal disc, a blend of two metals that made it both stronger yet pliable. It held the more subtle colors of the fire in it ... the burnished reds and oranges and picked up light in streaks of golds and yellows. It was then that Tarra withdrew suddenly or it seemed sudden to me, saying something about extra wheels. Ayg tried to talk her into staying and I wanted to show her the piece because, well it had meant something very profound to me and I wanted to share it with her. In the end we both could understand having other responsibilities to see to and wished her well.

It was as if there had not been the passage of a whole day since we last spoke, he and I. The conversation picked up right where it had left off. I wanted to know the rest of the answer ... why it was no different than people? His explanation was so clear and concise that I had to smile as it sunk right in. I had some similar thoughts to add and it sparked altogether new conversations. He relaxed and I felt a surge of energy. It is the way of us I think and even that launched a new discussion. I told him Also had said I was peace and that he was in some ways like that to me ... Also was. When I talked with the boy or was just around him, it felt like that calm right before sleep. When he told me he agreed with Also, that he got a sense of peace and of wisdom from me, it felt good to hear. So many tests and interviews for both clan and the first fires that sometimes I just felt like I didn't know anything that anyone thought I should know and no one except this warrior really wanted to know what I did know. Here was where I confided that he .. this warrior was different to me. His question just felt right at that moment.

What am I?

He was adrenaline to me, he set all of my synapses to firing. He filled my head and made me want to ask more questions than the questions I already had to ask. When we talk I learn more from him than even the answers he gives and that all just brings something else I want to talk about with him. And so on it goes. The circle seemed to close in on itself with all of it contained inside and flashing wonderful tones of fire and deep emotions when he told me it was the same for him.

We both speak to many because we have to or it is expected or their is a need but together it was simply a joy. At first I didn't understand his next statement, he hoped we would always be able to talk this way. I couldn't understand why we wouldn't .. it is what friends do, isn't it?

Asria came to sit with us and the topics veered into all new wagon rows of talk. Somehow we went from no one being strong enough or good enough provider for her in my mind to the subject of how many women a man would need to fill his wagons.I really think Ayg was just trying to test our feathers and see how ruffled he could get them. Soft little pieces of fluff a man could have dozens of but a real tuchuk woman with mind and spirit? I have seen many men struggle handling one and said so too. Why not two or more warriors for every tribeswoman. I had heard Mother and Grandmother talk among their friends about needing one warrior that was good at providing, one was good at saying the right things at the right time, one that could rock the wagon wheels and another than was around long enough to fix it too.Didn't tell them the last part but now I was definitely curious. Ayg sidestepped there and just repeated his question for Cana's benefit when she arrived. She had such a delicate little smile that did not say any of the same thing the fire in her eyes spoke volumes of. She said she already had a name for her mate's next mate. She could reside in the fifth wagon and be known as .. dead. Being the good Tuchuk woman I was I offered my own opinions in there, because that is what friends are for. I thought mate number two should live beneath the last wagon wheel maybe draped in lengths of chains. I so like Cana when she is being all spirited. She pressed the warrior and he finally admitted he was not in favor of that, personally.

Not to be confused if he meant about the two warriors part or the lengths of chains, I asked outright. 'Neither,' was his answer and he proceeded to fill in more of his thoughts there. He believed when two people make a commitment to become one, that was how it should stay .. besides he was a jealous bastard. I was laughing but I heard the things he said and maybe some of the things he didn't. I wanted to hear those too so I tossed in the tease of 'no having two warriors then'? How emphatic could the one word .. 'no" be? I liked it, I rolled it around on my tongue the same way the small disc danced across my fingers while I worried it. When it came time to take a mate, he would cleave only to her and would expect the same. I do not know how many heard the last of my thoughts on the subject because I grew quiet after adding softly. It was how it should be.

The warrior leaned over to tell me he could have the metal smiths put a hole in it so that I could wear it but I would not have that. Absolutely not! They could wrap a wire around it but the integrity of the piece was not going to be altered.

Sometimes when he and I talk it is as if there are no others beneath the stars .. just he and I. We do not realize there is a whole world right there next to us until someone asks ...

Isn't that right Mezoo?

It certainly felt that way but umm .. what were you talking about?

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